Saturday, January 9, 2010
A Snowy Saturday
Oh, hello. If you've just been looking in my windows you would have seen me dancing crazily with Claire while listening to Dean Martin's "Let It Snow." Why? Because it's ACTUALLY snowing! I can still see my grass underneath the very thin blanket of white, but the stuff is actually falling from the sky and has been all day! I'm so very proud of Nashville right now.Claire Bear and I enjoyed a nice snack together - homemade microwave popcorn. It's so easy and so much more economical than buying microwave popcorn at the store. She ate an entire banana and is now eating lunch (fish sticks, of course). Girlfriend is obviously in the middle of growth spurt because her appetite is up and I swear every time I look at her she looks like an older little girl.
Here she is now:
Here are some recent Claireisms before I forget about them.
"Row, row, row, dream...ha, ha achoo...sumeen!" = Row, row row your boat, underneath the stream. Ha, ha I fooled you, I'm a submarine.
When praying with her at bedtime, she pipes in "fada day" which means thank you for the day.
When she went out with Huz and his family she put on her Nana's bifocals and inexplicably started to howl like a wolf. I guess she's seen some vision impaired timber wolves in her time.
"Goo-mawning!" = the way she greeted us every time she got out of her bed while staying at my mom's. I hated the freedom she abused while being in a big girl bed, but hearing this was almost worth it.
"Mommy made it!" = What she says when she wears her knit hat I made her.
"Santa....Presents!" = This kid catches on fast.
"Uh huh." = Her new word for yes. As in, she says it all the time.
"Leeves!" = Please push my sleeves up so I can eat.
When pulling into the Denver International Airport she looked at the architecture, which as you probably know is supposed to mimic the Rocky Mountains, and she immediately said "happy to you!" which means she thought it looked like a birthday cake with candles.
"Make-up, me! = When I put my make-up on in the morning, Claire insists on putting some on too, so I hand her an old make-up brush for her to brush all over her face.
"Luhyu!" or "Luhyu too!" = The most endearing thing EVER!
"Ah cooking!" = I'm cooking! Especially in her kitchen that Santa got her.
There's so much more: her budding sense of humor, how she runs around the house like a crazy person, how she reaches out and tickles us, how she runs full steam into your leg and clings to it for life, how she plays with the nets of her new Elefun game making them bank robber masks instead of instruments to catch falling butterflies, how she loves playing with other children.
Claire, you crack me up, you make me smile, and you drive me crazy. All things a 2 year old is supposed to do and I would have it no other way!
Labels: Parenting
|Monday, June 29, 2009
Ping Feelings
Huz and I went to the "Toddler's Expressions" art show at Claire's daycare classroom on Friday. It included a full art show and a potluck with all the parents and kiddos. It was delightful, actually. It was the first time I've experienced the "that's MY kid" feeling in a room full of people. The teachers had worked with the kids for 2 months on building individual projects and group projects (from paintings done with painted branches, to paintings done Jackson Pollock style, to paintings done upside down underneath the tables, etc.). I have to say that on some of them, Claire's was clearly the best. I know, I know, biased much? No, not really. I genuinely feel that some of hers were superior. I swear!Anyway, it was interesting to see all the parents with a child my daughter's age - interesting also that about half of them were clearly expecting another. I felt like I was out of place by not being pregnant and, while Huz has mentioned seeing babies at coffee shops and feeling his heart "ping," I generally haven't felt the desire to have another one. Everyone seems to get that heart ping when their first is around one, but I hadn't felt it. Until last Friday. I guess it was seeing all the pregnant mothers and remembering the excitement and wonder of having a child inside of you, as well as knowing that these toddlers would soon have a sibling to befriend. I want Claire to have a sibling to play with and be friends with; she enjoys being with other children so much that it's sorely tempting to try again now. But, no. We can't. First, I had radiation therapy 4 months ago and my Dr. wants me to wait 9 months to a year before trying again. Also, Huz is no longer funded and has to finish his dissertation and get a job. We don't want to fall into the trap of feeling like we have to have everything perfect and ALL of our ducks in a row (well-paying jobs for both of us, a house to live in, general stability) before expanding our family, but we really need those ducks in a row before we can expand our family.
Don't we? Tell me your story of deciding when to have more than one. I'd appreciate the advice.
In the meantime, *PING!* |
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Pacifier Weaning: Night One
Amazing. I put the earplugs in right after I put Claire to bed because, of course, she was screaming.But.
It only lasted 7 minutes and then she slept quietly through the night until 7:00 this morning WITHOUT HER PACIFIER.
Good girl, Claire! I totally underestimated you.
We'll see how naptime goes in a half hour.
Labels: Pacifier Weaning, Parenting
|Friday, June 12, 2009
Pacifier Weaning: Day One
Poor Huz has the privilege of starting the weaning process of Claire from her pacifier all alone today. She's 20 months old next week and, while she only uses a pacifier during naps and bedtime, we think (and the Doctor thinks) it's time to wean.What I know so far are from his Twitter posts:
12:49p.m. - She went from quiet to 'wait, something's missing' to 'OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS' to 'WTF SO MAD' in about ten minutes.
12:59p.m. - Now repeated wails of 'd'no' (trans. 'I don't know where X is' - ed.) and 'mommy!' As if eliminating the middle man is going to help.
1:30p.m. - Woke up and cried for a bit after 30 mins or so, then quiet again.
1:20p.m. - All quiet. That was actually easier than I expected. We'll see how long it lasts.
Labels: Pacifier Weaning, Parenting
|Friday, May 22, 2009
The Things You Say
Claire,Everybody is always saying how smart you are because you have such a big vocabulary already at 19 months. I can't help but beam with pride when I hear this from other people, because of course we think you're brilliant and wonderful, but to hear it from others just verifies it all the more.
I want to remember the adorable things you say - want to always remember your sing-songy voice, the pitch you reach when you say "eye" or "nose". I need to record it more on video. For now, here is but a small record of what you are saying these days. I love you so much, my little monkey.
Love,
Mama
thone = phone (which you always must play with)
sone = another way you say phone
e-e-E-E-Y-Y-E = eye (you sing this going from a low note to a high one)
n-n-o-O-S-E = nose (ditto on singing)
tinkey! = stinkey (as in when I'm changing your diaper)
belbow = elbow
tankyoumommy = thank you, mommy
tankyoumommydaddy = thank you, mommy, er, I mean daddy
bessyou = bless you
bee = any small object that has black on it (bees, ants, poppy seeds, etc.)
bee-bee? = TV with a question sound at the end (i.e., you ask to watch tv a lot, to which we either give in for 30 minutes max or we redirect your attention to something else)
bapple = apple (which you can eat WHOLE and I find it hilarious)
ah-oh, ah-oh, ah-oh = ah-oh repeated a million times for emphasis
Sasa = Sarah, your teacher from daycare
nigh, nigh = night, night
paciiiiie? = asking for your pacifier
bas = bath
elp! = help (as in demanding help for whatever you cannot do)
sit! = you demand that we sit next to you quite often, while patting the chair or floor next to you
mamafin = muffin (which you insist on eating WHOLE, not sliced)
nana = banana (unfortunately, your grandma wants to be called this so this will be confusing, I'm sure)
Uh huh! = your version of yes, while nodding your head vigorously (as in, do you want milk? Uh huh! Do you want a muffin? Uh huh! Mamafin!) |
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Mothers Day 2009
I'm learning to be grateful for the quiet, sweet moments and I hold my breath through the loud, screamy ones. Claire is experiencing the Mighty Will of Her Own, otherwise known as the Terrible Two's at the age of one and a half. I had a good mothers day, but it was punctuated with three, count them, three temper tantrums. Huz caught one on video that I must post, but later. These tantrms are exhausting. My hope is that she'll get through this period soon and her sweet self will re-emerge at the end.
We went out for breakfast and then to the park. As you can see, I decided to dress Claire up for the occassion.
I got this sweet little chair for a steal and Toys R Us the other day. It was the only one in the store and all the crappy plastic ones next to it were marked $7.99, so I got it for the same price (even though it's metal and wicker).
Big girl reading.
Asking Mommy to read to her.
Here she is playing with Daddy last week.
During naptime on Mothers Day, I got inspired to redecorate Claire's room and painted an owl.
More to come on that later...
Sweet Claire, I love you more than life itself. You make me smile and laugh so hard, you give new meaning to life, and you make me love your Daddy more than I ever have before. Even if you throw fits right now, I will try to remember that this is a difficult stage for you emotionally and that you aren't being bad on purpose. You remain my sun, moon and stars. Love you, baby girl.
Huz made me some phenomenol Memphis-style dry rub ribs. Amazing. I joked with him about the gender reversal and how I guess I'll be making him tea and crumpets for Fathers Day. :)
Huz, I love you and am so grateful for your partnership in this crazy thing called parenting. I honestly could not do it without you.
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Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mama's Day, Part One
The day hasn't even begun and I'm so excited! It's only supposed to be in the 70s today with no rain (!!!), we're going out to breakfast in an hour, then to the zoo....and these? THESE! Are being prepared for me as I type.
Hello ribs, Memphis style!!! |
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Daycare
It was hard when we first enrolled Claire in daycare. I mean, you don't know how difficult it is handing over your precious little one to a stranger all day, but then you do and it becomes easier. Eventually, you look forward to it and so does your child - they need the interaction with other children and they need to learn to trust other adults and places.I was very happy to see these pictures of Claire on the playground at the PDO (Parents Day Out) program she goes to on Mondays and Fridays. She is in love with this little boy, Liam, who has been in her 1 year old class all year. She's got good taste - he's a cutie with all that brown curly hair and blue eyes.
As much as we have liked the daycare at my work that she goes to on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because of how close she is to us if anything happens to her and because of how structured it is with age-appropriate activities (finger painting, crafts, learning colors and animals), it's just too expensive for us to continue. $50 a day is pricey for us, especially considering that she's missed 3 weeks due to illness since January and because Huz looses his PhD funding next month (it only lasts 4 years and here we are...4 years!). We have to learn how to live on my income alone and that scares the bejeezus out of me. So, come the Fall, we'll be taking her out of work daycare and putting her into a second PDO because that's the only affordable option. Granted, it's only 5 hours a day, but Huz needs any time he can get to finish writing his dissertation. Speaking of which, we'll be having a Half Way Done party next month - I'll be sure and share photos from the event. I don't think I'll be replicating the half birthday cake that looked like a deformed football, but I might think of something fun.
We saw the second PDO last week and were both very excited. It seems to be a great place that has the structure/crafts/age-appropriate learning that the full-time daycare does, but at an affordable price. She'll be doing kindermusik once a week too, which will be fun.
I know it's been boring around here and I apologize. Twitter and Facebook have distracted me. I'll get better at blogging, promise.
Labels: Child Care, Parenting
|Friday, April 17, 2009
Fun With Viruses
I don't think I knew just how many sicknesses I would get after having a child. Claire was sick all last week with fever and ear infection and then I get this random sore throat for 4 days, followed by a RAGING case of pink eye. Remember the last time I had pink eye? Yeah, well this case is like 10 times uglier, itchier and painful. I'm guessing I picked up the virus that Claire had, only it manifested itself in different ways for me. LOVELY.My mom flew into town last night - she's here for a work conference, but is offering us babysitting all weekend. So, I'm looking HORRIBLE but we're going to go to Memphis (for the first time!) on Saturday night - SANS KID! Woo hoo! I'm looking forward to our first night away in a year and a half, even if I look like a freak. I'll wear my sunglasses the entire time, hoping people will just think I had too much fun on Beale Street the night before.
Happy Friday everyone! |
Thursday, April 9, 2009
WTF
The Bear has been sick since Friday and I am so over it. I (and Huz) have been as selfless and nurturing as possible, but when she hits me and arches her back and screams and throws her pacifier and stuffed bunny at me? I get over parenthood in a quick hurry. I hate to admit that because instantly I cry and feel guilty, but it's just the truth, damn it, and somebody needs to say it.At book club last night someone mentioned that NPR did a story about some blog where mothers admit to horrible thoughts or actions. I'm going to find this right now in hopes that it will make me feel better about the frustrations of the last week.
Here it is. I am going to start reading and hope that it's like a balm to my weary, guilty, bad-mom soul.
Labels: Parenting
|Monday, March 23, 2009
Radomness, Randomness. Also? Please comment somebody. I'm getting sad over here.
In an attempt to get Claire some more age-appropriate toys, namely ones where she can practice cause and effect, I recently bought one of these for $5 at a consignment sale. She immediately started playing with it and still does 2 weeks later. I gotta tell you, that's much more gratifying that buying toys for a cat and having them just sniff it and walk away.
This is Huz and I last Friday night. We celebrated our belated 14 month anniversary because, as you may recall, I was looking hot back in December after having surgery. Huz is proud of me when I don't hide my scar. He also likes it when I show some leg. Wee!
We went to our favorite Nashville restaurant and enjoyed a full bottle of wine (hiccup) and a lovely meal together. For the appetizer I had artisan pizza with lamb, feta and pesto; Huz had homemade sausage with apple and fennel slaw. For the main entree I had steak (medium rare) with wilted arugula, mushrooms, blue cheese and walnuts; Huz had grilled trout with a butter sauce and crispy polenta and sauteed vegetables. We shared a strawberry custard tarte and coffee for dessert. Yum to the max.
I'm still contemplating getting a tattoo. As you know, I've thought about it for years and now that I've (hopefully) survived cancer I feel the need for some sort of symbol of triumph to help me remember strength, health, vitality, life. I'm just hung up on what the symbol should be, what is meaningful to me, and what I won't get sick of or hate years down the road. I need to meet with a local tattoo artist to help me come up with an original design.
That's about it. Now somebody please say SOMETHING to me and make me smile. Thanks!
Labels: Consumerism, Dining, Parenting, Tattoo
|Identity
A beautiful new post at Mothers of Invention really made me pause, reevaluate, and smile.If you're a parent (and please read "mother" as "parent"), please read it.
As is common with me, I'm going through another identity crisis and asking myself the same questions: who am I? what's important to me? how does God fit into all of this? who is God? what does my cancer mean? do I have to label myself as a cancer survivor/victim now? what am I good at? why am I always in the same, boring admin jobs if I feel I can do so much more? am I a photographer or just some girl who snaps a decent picture once in a while? what is meaningful to me? what is my purpose?
I hate these unstable, scary, questionable times in my life, yet if I didn't have them, would my life be worth living? Probably not.
Labels: Parenting
|Thursday, March 12, 2009
Random Things
1. I'm afraid to be too happy about the whole cancer thing. I know the scan was good news because it didn't show that I have any metastases, but I guess I feel like this has been such a huge crisis for me - one that has only been known about since November - and that I've been such a victim to it that it's too soon for me to breathe a sigh of relief and put it to bed never worrying about it again. I fear that the Big C will creep it's ugly head back out again and I won't be mentally prepared for it if I just celebrate and think I'm in the clear. Not that I want to walk around on eggshells for the rest of my life, but it's just too soon for me to feel free right now. Maybe after I get another clear scan in 9 months I can breathe easier.2. Claire is only 16 months but I think we've entered the Terrible Two's with her. She just has these huge temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants (or for no apparent reason at all) and arches her back and screams at decibels that cause dogs to go deaf. I have no patience for her when she's like this and I instantly have Mom Guilt, thinking I'm a sucky mother because she drives me crazy so fast. I should be patient and serene and Mary-like, but I'm not. In many ways (all ways, really) Huz and I enjoy her so much more at this stage then when she was just a cute, immobile lump of baby goodness, but this is also a very, very hard stage too. And I'm admitting it.
3. I've been good at being budget-friendly in the kitchen this week (as opposed to ignoring the fact that we need to eat and not preparing anything which inevitably leads to eating out and spending too much money). On Monday I made clam chowder and last night I made Moroccan chicken pot pie. Tonight Huz is making potato latkes and lentil soup on Friday. On Saturday I'm making beer-battered fish tacos. Yum.
4. I've had yet another Synthroid dosage change as my Doctor is still trying to get my TSH levels acceptably low. I find this very frustrating, being on my 4th dosage change since December, but also know it's par for the course. I just want things to be normal again.
5. I have decided that I hate Google Reader. I just started using it but now I see why nobody leaves me comments anymore. I find it very impersonal when I merely scroll down everyone's posts on some boring white screen, ignoring all the work they (I'm talking about me now, people) put into creating their html template and nice header photos, and Netflix rental photos, and what they are reading photos, etc. It's like looking through the windows of someone's home instead of walking in the door. I don't like it.
That is all for now.
Labels: Cooking, Parenting, Thyroid Cancer
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