Through My Lens

Monday, June 29, 2009

Ping Feelings

Huz and I went to the "Toddler's Expressions" art show at Claire's daycare classroom on Friday. It included a full art show and a potluck with all the parents and kiddos. It was delightful, actually. It was the first time I've experienced the "that's MY kid" feeling in a room full of people. The teachers had worked with the kids for 2 months on building individual projects and group projects (from paintings done with painted branches, to paintings done Jackson Pollock style, to paintings done upside down underneath the tables, etc.). I have to say that on some of them, Claire's was clearly the best. I know, I know, biased much? No, not really. I genuinely feel that some of hers were superior. I swear!

Anyway, it was interesting to see all the parents with a child my daughter's age - interesting also that about half of them were clearly expecting another. I felt like I was out of place by not being pregnant and, while Huz has mentioned seeing babies at coffee shops and feeling his heart "ping," I generally haven't felt the desire to have another one. Everyone seems to get that heart ping when their first is around one, but I hadn't felt it. Until last Friday. I guess it was seeing all the pregnant mothers and remembering the excitement and wonder of having a child inside of you, as well as knowing that these toddlers would soon have a sibling to befriend. I want Claire to have a sibling to play with and be friends with; she enjoys being with other children so much that it's sorely tempting to try again now. But, no. We can't. First, I had radiation therapy 4 months ago and my Dr. wants me to wait 9 months to a year before trying again. Also, Huz is no longer funded and has to finish his dissertation and get a job. We don't want to fall into the trap of feeling like we have to have everything perfect and ALL of our ducks in a row (well-paying jobs for both of us, a house to live in, general stability) before expanding our family, but we really need those ducks in a row before we can expand our family.

Don't we? Tell me your story of deciding when to have more than one. I'd appreciate the advice.

In the meantime, *PING!*

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Posted by Bird On A Line @ 12:35 PM

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