Wednesday, January 30, 2008

My Lovely Girl

2 weeks ago:

Claire was 12 weeks old and just beginning to be able to use her hands. She still can't deliberately reach out and grab a toy, but she's adept at putting her fist in her mouth over and over again, as well as grabbing my hair or her blanket.

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She's 14 and a half weeks old and shows signs of rolling over any day. She doesn't like the feeling, apparently, but she'll get over it soon enough I'm sure. (Don't you just love my two baldies? I sure do!)

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Posted by Bird On A Line @ 5:21 PM

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

30 Minutes

What a difference a half an hour makes! I decided to come to work at 8:30 today since I have a meeting until 5:00 and it was great! First of all, Claire slept from 9:00 to 5:20 (yippee!), so I fed her, changed her and laid her back down. Then I successfully pumped out 4.5 more ounces (gotta keep that freezer stocked!) and took a half an hour nap before getting up and ready for the day. I could hear her in her room coughing for attention, so I knew she was awake. So, instead of tip-toeing around in the kitchen like I do every morning while trying to get breakfast and leave the house, I got her up and got to see all of her bright, sun-shiny smiles while eating breakfast at the table with her in her bouncy seat and Huz eating across from me. It was like the weekend - I actually got to see my family! Loved it. I think I'm going to change my working hours so I get this every morning.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 8:48 AM

Friday, January 25, 2008

Mixing Bowl

Let me just say from the start that I have no idea what this post will be about. Don't expect a well-written, organized, thoughtful post. I'm too tired.

First, happy birthday to my Mom. She's 25 years old again this year. Love you, Mo!

So, what's the deal? I feel like we take one step forward and two steps back in the kid department. Claire has been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks and then, BAM!, she's been waking up at 1:30 or 2:00a.m. ALL.WEEK.LONG. What gives, Bear? Growth spurt? Just want some parental interaction? Too hot? Too cold? What!? Last night was the worse yet this week - she was awake and fussing from 2:00-3:00, I fed her, she stayed awake for an hour, and then woke up again at 6:00a.m. And now? I'm totally exhausted and loopy at work. Case in point: a faculty member called and asked me if I knew who Scarlett was and I immediately responded, "Scarlett Johansen?" Totally not what I meant to say. Erg.

Wanna know what I think is highway robbery? Selling a cup of tea for $1.45. I actually paid that this morning for a cup of boiling water and a little tea bag - I can get a bag of like 20 for $3.99 at Kroger! The chile rellenos quiche I bought was worth the money, but that cup of hot water? Not so much.

I like my new car. It handles really well and I feel cute in it. Huz says it looks a little Euro, so I'll gladly accept it if people think I'm cute and Euro-looking in it. (Euro-looking? Did I make up a word again?)

My plans for the weekend - getting a babysitter for the very first time and going out on a date. Yippee! I made dinner reservations here and am very much looking forward to a little Huz/Wife time.

That's it. Sorry for the random thoughts of an exhausted lady. But, hey, at least it's Friday.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 1:54 PM

Sunday, January 20, 2008

3 Months Old

Happy 3 month birthday, my darling baby girl! You're a beautiful, cherubic baby and I love you more than I've ever loved anything before. I'm amazed by how big you've gotten, how much better you're sleeping, how your fists have recently discovered your mouth, how much you coo and smile, how much better you can hold your head up when you're on your tummy or when I hold you to my chest, how much you kick your fat, little legs when we change your diaper, how I can carry you in a sling facing outward now, how you watch t.v. even though it's not allowed, how you fake little coughs to get my attention, how you continue to loose your hair so you look more and more like your Daddy, how you sneeze two or three times in a row like me, how your fat rolls on your arms and legs continue to grow, and how you're beginning to be able to grasp toys with your hands even though you don't know you're doing it yet. You're so interested in the world around you and your big, beautiful blue eyes try to take it all in, while all of us around you try to take in your big, beautiful blue eyes . I love you, Claire. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy!


Posted by Bird On A Line @ 4:36 PM

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I've Lost That Soupy Feeling

Having a baby makes you spend money. Not only do diapers cost moolah (we pay $82 a month for diaper service), but you have to buy a second car. Okay, you don't have to, but we did. Yep! We just got back from the Nissan dealer driving a brand new Versa (we got the sedan in gray). It's an adorable little car that feels enormous inside compared to the Saturn. Now Claire's car seat won't be jammed up right between our shoulders because the backseat is uber roomy, as is the trunk. This is the first new car we've ever owned and we're totally excited. It was in our price range, we got a great percentage rate on financing, plus I work with a faculty member whose husband works at Nissan and gave us a friends and family discount! Woohoo! Now Huz won't be stuck at home all day long while watching Claire and I'm at work hogging our only car. This will make life much better for everyone.

I was telling Huz last night that it seems like forever ago that we were in our friend's position - sitting in a hospital room with our brand new, tiny, pink bundle of joy in our arms. It feels long ago that we were in the soupy, hazy throes of sleeplessness - seeing the clock more times in a 24 hour period than I ever had before; when the date, day of the week, and time eluded me and had no bearing on my life; when every two hours I, with very sore nipples, was breastfeeding a crying baby. Our current sleep isn't like it used to be - I go to bed at the ridiculous hour of 9:30p.m. so that I get enough sleep to function at work the next day, and I still wake once in the night to nurse (usually 4:00a.m.). But it's light years from where we were only 12 weeks ago. I'm both grateful for this and sad too - sad because it means Claire is growing up and doing it quickly.

I definitely have conflicting feelings about this going back to work whilst mothering thing. On the one hand, I'm jealous that Huz gets to stay home with Claire, that he knows her better than me, that he gets to see her happy smiles every morning. On the other hand, I feel guilty that he has to stay home, possibly putting his PhD program back a year. A double-edged sword, that's what it is. But, in the end, it's both of us who are sacrificing things and we're both totally willing to do it because Claire is worth every bit of compromise and sacrifice. She just is.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 4:03 PM

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


My first day working from home went well. I wasn't very busy - checked emails throughout the day, checked to make sure our lecture podcasts were working, dealt with an outside company on an outstanding invoice, had lunch with my girlfriend, nursed Claire throughout the day, and got to see her smiley, happy, morning face. It was good. But I can't help but feel like I'm on borrowed time, that once others in my office hear about the arrangement, that they'll complain and my boss will renege. I feel guilty about it too - that I've been allowed to do this and that I've received a nice office. I guess it's a testament to my lack of self esteem, but I just feel like all of this is too good for me - that I don't deserve it. Why is that!? Why can't I just be happy and enjoy it? Sheesh.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 4:51 PM

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Congratulations to our dear friends Thunder and Emily on the birth of their lovely daughter, Mya Marie. She's just adorable (And tiny! Was Claire that small just 12 short weeks ago!?). Claire Bear is grateful for the birth of her new best friend and is already planning some play dates.

Love you guys! My advice? Sleep while you can at the hospital! Call us with any needs!

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 10:49 AM

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I Sound Like a Frog

Hey kids. I'm still sick, but not so much that I have to stay home in bed all day like Tuesday. I actually sound just like a frog, if a frog could speak English that is. It's quite attractive, let me tell you (you hear the drip, drip, drip of irony, right?).

I met with my boss about telecommuting. Get this. Not only did she approve (for a trial basis - and if I find I'm not getting my work done because of being distracted by Claire or if I'm putting in long hours on the other days to make up for it, she suggested I work four ten hour days and take Wednesdays off), but she also gave me a huge office right next to hers. I feel so out of place in it - like I need a better hair do, wardrobe, and salary to go with it. I cannot tell you how glad I am I got this job - what a difference.

It's nuts, with a brand new baby and all, but I'm considering grad school. Vanderbilt has a M.Ed program that I could do on the weekends - maybe we could get a sitter for Saturdays so that Huz could have a full day of dissertation work and I could go to class all day. I'm only in the thinking about it stage - there's still the GRE to study for and take (yikes), finances to consider, childcare to figure out, and getting accepted (minor detail). Forward moving is always my modus operandi, though, so we shall see.

It's proving a challenge trying to figure out how to manage our time - I work full-time, come home exhausted, Huz watches the baby all day (yet still has made dinner several times this week!), I get her into bed at around 9:00 and then fall into bed myself at around 9:30. That doesn't leave much time for anything else, like cleaning the house, dissertation work for Huz, or real connection time for us (I don't even know why I'm bothering taking the Pill - ain't no relations taking place over here! No time! Too tired!). I know that all new parents have to deal with this and eventually we'll figure out a balance, but it's hard. There's no denying that. That being said, I want to publicly thank Huz for being a genuinely committed father - one who has no problem with the gender role reversal and stays at home watching our precious daughter. His love and devotion is unbelievable, as is his commitment to this family. I only hope that he'll be able to get his work done while raising our daughter 9 hours a day. Thank you, dear, for all that you do.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 11:10 AM

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Hair Hurt

I was so sick yesterday that I stayed home and in bed until about 2:00p.m. Everything hurt: my head, my throat, my muscles, even my hair (seriously, it did). I don't know if it's the nasty cold that Huz brought home with us from Colorado or what. I'm much better today, remarkably. How strange. I bet my co-workers thought it was a ruse to stay home with Claire, but it honestly wasn't. In fact, all I did was feed her yesterday; Huz did everything else because I just wasn't up to it.

Oh, I have to tell you how sweet Huz was the other day. You know that going back to work hasn't been easy, so he made a video of him and Claire taking the neighbor's dog on a walk so that I could feel like I was with them. Isn't that sweet!?

Work is going well - I'm busy, but it's okay because it makes the days go by quickly. I actually enjoy being around adults again and feeling productive. The best thing would be the telecommuting deal, which I still haven't had a chance to discuss with my boss. Hopefully I'll meet with her tomorrow.

Anyway, that's about it. Sorry for the boring post.

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 3:05 PM

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Video Post on Cloth Diapers. Okay, Nevermind.

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Posted by Bird On A Line @ 1:40 PM

Saturday, January 5, 2008



Q: How do you know your husband bought the wrong kind of cat food?

A: It says "Weight Management" on the bag. Um, hello? Have you seen my skinny ass cat? Neville's a porker, but Cambridge? She's the original Tiny Heiny. She's the small fry on the dollar menu. You also know it was the wrong food because you keep finding cat puke all over the house. Ick.


I wear Claire in a sling a lot, especially when it's nap time and we're at a party or visiting family and it's too loud for her to sleep. So, I get her to snuggle into my chest and she falls right to sleep. I often eat whilst she's thus slung which has not gone without some party fouls. For example, when I was eating dinner at my Mom's house in Colorado, a dried blueberry fell off my fork and landed in Claire's ear. Hee, hee. I now refer to blueberries as earberries. Another example: last night I was eating salad and a glop of ranch dressing landed on her neck. My poor baby. She's just swimming in my food over here!

Since coming back from vacation Claire has started to loose her hair. I looked at her across the room the other day while Huz was holding her and I thought I saw a bald spot over her ear; sure enough, when we brush her hair it comes out. So sad. I know it's natural to loose it, but I love her fine, downy baby hair. I hope she comes out of this stage without looking like an old bald man. (I wonder if it will grow back blond or stay light brown?) The good new is, she's lost all that crusty cradle cap (I always make the typo: cradle crap - which is pretty much a Freudian slip) along with the hair so at least her exposed scalp is nice and smooth now.

The other major (and I mean MAJOR) change in Claire since we've been home is the fact that she goes right to sleep (without the pacifier even!) when we put her to bed (in her crib! in her own room!) at 9:00. No fussing. No problem. And THEN - get this - Thursday night (the night after my first traumatic day back at full-time work) she slept from 9:00 - 4:50. Did you read that? That's nearly 8 hours. That's through the night, people. She did it last night too. Hot damn, it feels good to sleep again!

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 9:08 PM

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Our New Toy and the Beginning of Really Bad Videos

Oh my. This is my very first attempt (unedited) using our new video recorder. I have no idea why I'm talking like a simpleton, but there it is.

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Posted by Bird On A Line @ 6:36 PM


Times I cried today: probably about 7
Times I thought about Claire today: probably about a million

This is hard; harder than I ever imagined. It helps being busy because my day has gone by quickly, but I still hate it. Please pray that my meeting with my boss (sometime next week, as she's out of town this week) goes well and that she'll agree to my telecommuting on Wednesdays!

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 3:52 PM

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Today I'm Enjoying Every Moment I Have With My Baby Girl

I never knew I could love someone this much. It literally hurts thinking about being away from her for 9 hours a day. This sucks.


Posted by Bird On A Line @ 11:19 AM

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