Sunday, January 3, 2010
Cook and Freeze and Mother Guilt
I've decided to skip church this morning (heathen, I know). Instead, I'm staying home and making three freezable meals for my vegan + meat toddler (she's allergic to egg and dairy, in case you forgot). This means we eat separately, which means time to cook is at a premium around here.This also coincides nicely with my resolution to help cook more at home. Poor Huz has been doing the majority of the cooking for 2 years now. Sorry, babe!
I've decided to try these recipes out (modifying them to be egg- and dairy-free, of course): chicken pot pies, sausage and bean casserole, and turkey burgers. That should last a few weeks and then I'll cook and freeze again.
I woke up rather depressed - mostly, I think, because last night we babysat for some friends and when the 3 month old screamed and cried for 45 minutes I felt unnerved and inept. Huz was a natural with her, however, and held and rocked her the entire time. I guess I felt unmotherly and frustrated that I felt I should be a natural. Talk about sexism! Why do we expect our gender to dictate our feelings and responses to the world? Just because I'm a woman (and a mother) doesn't mean that I'm ready for another (and I'm not entirely sure I'm even a good mother - my 2 year old drives me nuts sometimes!). I think that's what's bothering me the most - I don't know if I want another child and that makes me sad and guilty - I feel like I'd let Huz down, not to mention the grandparents, as well as Claire who could use the companionship. I feel guilty that I don't think I can do another baby and toddler. This shit is tough! How on earth do you do it again!?
At least I'm trying. I'm going to make my child some nutritious food today. That's good mothering, right? Right? |
