Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Vagina, How It Rages
Okay, I am a bit reluctant to post this, but I HAVE to tell you about last night.Now, now, before you get excited, I am neither going to reveal some hot bedroom story that Huz and I shared, nor am I going to reveal some kind of woo-ha disorder (cuz I don't have any, thankyouverymuch).
No, what happened is last night my Fodder Friend called me up and asked me what I have planned for the evening. As we had just experienced Scream Fest 2008, Part Two the night before, I responded, "hopefully sleeping." Well, she had other plans and wanted me to join in the fun. She rented some crazy ass (ha!) film called Teeth and wanted me and another friend to watch it with her. I agreed, reluctantly, because the film is a comedy/horror (neither of which are my genre of film) about the cultural myth of Vagina Dentata (Latin for "toothed vagina"). Oh boy. This definitely sounded like a girls night out movie - no husband in their right mind would watch a movie about a vagina that had teeth in it. Talk about fear of castration! There were no less than 3 dudes who had their peniles bitten off - and we had to see the fake things as they flew onto the ground. OMG. It was so dumb, but so, so funny because of the company I was with. Four girls sat around watching this atrocity and - the most brilliant part of the evening, thanks to the crazy brain of my FF - every time a penis was bitten off, we had to take a bite of a banana. Of course this was accompanied by much screaming and laughter. If any parts further up were castrated, then we had to eat some M&M's (there weren't any higher-up castrations, but we enjoyed the chocolate all the same). Oh, and the third "rule" that she came up with was that if you got scared (which, believe me, this film was too dumb to be called scary) you had to draw a picture (the coffee table was lined with parchment paper and there were crayons everywhere) of your vagina (with teeth, natch) eating a penis. What happened to these lovely pictures? I don't know. My FF took them with her as she left. Are her intentions to sell them on EBay? To scan them and email them to me so I can post them here? Shrug. At least I didn't sign mine!
What a crazy, fun, head-shaking evening, to say the least. |
