Through My Lens

Sunday, September 10, 2006


There were several first-time experiences for me this weekend.

1. Tried a new restaurant.
Saturday night Huz and I went to Cuisine of India and were both quite happy with it. There were no gringo additions like carrots and peas in the rice (nothing drives me crazier than gringoed-up ethnic food. If I feel like Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, or Indian food then I want it to be authentic, damn it! Is that too much to ask?). I tried my favorite Indian dish, Chicken Makhni, and it passed the test: red, spicy, creamy, and delicious. I have leftovers for tonight's dinner - yes!

2. Went to half of a play.
After dinner we went to our second annual viewing of Shakespeare in the Park. The play was Macbeth and it began at 8:00. All was going well, despite the distant rumble of thunder to the north. Before the first act ended the rain began to fall on us (tank tops produce rain-catching cleavage - ask me how I know.). Before the second act was over the play was stopped because the rain, thunder and lightning were kind of a liability, not to mention distracting for audience and cast members alike. So home we went with only half of Macbeth in our minds. (We both agreed that Lady Macbeth was much too perky and girlish as she was portrayed by the actress. She should have been more menacing and sexually powerful.)

3. Went to an art museum gift shop and not to the museum itself.
Do you know that I've lived in Nashville for a little over a year now and have yet to go to their one and only art museum? It's odd, I know, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. My lovely German friend asked me to go with her to pick up our CSA veggies and then to the Frist's gift shop where she had purchased some beads the week before. I joined her and bought a few myself to make some earrings and a necklace (another VW hobby). I'll have to go back to the museum for real some day.

4. Made a vegan* breakfast.
This is weird because there's no way I'd ever choose to be a vegan. I mean come on. Life without ice cream? Life without butter? Life without cheese? You've got to be kidding me. Anyway, the reason I made vegan banana walnut pancakes this morning was simply because I was out of eggs and was too hungry (and too un-showered and bedroom-haired) to go to the grocery store for some more. So I prayed to the Google god and found a pancake recipe that could be made sans eggs. It was pretty darn good, actually. (Despite the word "yummy" that's used in the recipe title.)

*I completely un-veganed breakfast by serving this with bacon. I'm such a rebel!

5. Went to a professional football game.
I gotta tell you, it pays to drag your lazy ass to church even though you don't feel like it. We went to service and as we were leaving I said hello to our deacon. He handed me two Titans tickets and asked if we wanted them. We were like, "Uh, sure! We've never been to a game before and don't have any plans today." Score! Not that the Titans are good, but when are we ever going to shell out $72 for each ticket on our own? Probably never. So off we went to find the parking lot and our seats. About 30 minutes later we were up in the stadium on the way out to our seats, but decided to grab some drinks and lunch before settling down outside. Much to his relief, Huz found a place selling Sam Adams Octoberfest (he would never drink the other crap they sell, believe me. A home brewer is extremely picky and rightfully so. Once you've had decent beer it's impossible to go back to drinking piss.) and I found a place selling frozen margaritas. We got a couple of cheeseburgers and an order of waffle fries to share. We went to the condiment station and loaded our burgers up, including a big ol' glop of ketchup on the fries. I made my way through the crowds juggling my margarita, a bottle of water, my hamburger and the fries perched on top. We found our seats and sat down...

6. Been embarrassed by my own crotch.
As I sat down in my seat, between Huz and some dude, the tray of fries that was precariously perched atop my hamburger tipped forward and did a 180, landing upside down into my light blue cargo panted lap. My once light blue crotch was now covered with all of the waffle fries and the healthy glop of bright red ketchup. Time stood still. I forgot where I was and that there were 70,000 people around me. All I could do was stare at my crotch. All Huz did was stare at my crotch. All the dude next to me did was stare at my crotch. Then I snapped to and yelled at Huz for staring and handed him my lone burger while grabbing his handful of napkins that should have been offered to me immediately. I scooped up napkinful after napkinful of ketchup from my crotch and then had to do the most embarrassing thing ever - stand up and walk all the way back up to the stadium, walk through the hallway filled with people, and into a restroom to douse my red-stained crotch with sink water and hand soap. I felt the need to tell every woman who washed her hands that I spilled ketchup on my lap, lest she think that I had menstruated for two. I came back to my seat with a soaked and slightly pink crotch and tried to enjoy the game. It was hot, humid, and my crotch reeked of ketchup. Lovely.

But, hey, at least the game was free!

Posted by Bird On A Line @ 6:10 PM

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