Wednesday, August 2, 2006
On Cooking: Boxes, Cans, and Crisco
I do not cook from boxes. If I want to make a cake, out come the flour, sugar, and eggs. I don't reach into the cupboard for a freaking box. That's gross and it's cheating. I also do not cook from cans. Using canned vegetables, other than diced tomatoes or tomato sauce/paste, is gross. It is inevitably mushy and tastes like shit - salty shit. Finally, I do not cook with shortening...until the other day. And, oh, the regret.See, apparently shortening goes bad (read: rancid) and I wasn't aware of this. That's why when I pulled out the tub of Crisco from the dark, forsaken rear of the cupboard I didn't think twice about how old the gunk actually was. Thinking about it now, I realize that it was at least 3-4 years old because I know I didn't buy it here in TN and I probably bought it several years before moving to our last Chicago apartment. It had a slight odor when I was measuring 2/3 of a cup of it for a would-be awesome dessert, but I figured, "This white fatty goo reeks, guess that's why I don't use it". Wrong, so wrong.
I proceeded to make my gloriously large cast iron skillet blackberry cobbler that consisted of three layers (crust, creamy berry filling, and crumbly streusel topping) and took an hour and a half to cook. I let it cool for the called-for half hour, scooped some out onto 2 plates with vanilla ice cream on top and took a big bite. I stopped mid-chew and realized that it tasted like the Crisco smelled - like butt. Big stinky butt.
AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH.
I was embarrassed and angry because it was such a waste - 6 eggs and 2 bags of blackberries down the drain, not to mention my time.
I did the unthinkable and bought some more Crisco because I am determined to try this thing again. But I think I'll put a big sticky note on the Crisco tub with the date of purchase this time. If 6 months go by and it's still in the cupboard, into the trash it goes (sans expensive berries this time). |
