Thursday, July 20, 2006
Nascent Thoughts
I've been thinking a lot about the whole baby-making, baby-wanting issue lately. It started after reading this. It made me embarrassed because I've realized how impatient we as a society (this includes me) are. We want what we want and we want it now, no holds barred. Feel like going out for a burrito even though the refrigerator is full of food? Then go to Baja Burrito without a thought. Only 19 years old but want a baby? Hasn't happened immediately? Just go to the Dr. and get yourself a nice, fat dosage of Clomid. No problem.We've got a BandAid for everything in our society because we're convinced that we have a right to everything and we deserve it RIGHT NOW. I am preaching to myself here as much as to anyone because, as you know, I am only (it is only, right!?) 30 and just got off the Pill after 11 years and find myself worried that I haven't started ovulating after only 3 measly months. I know it's silly to worry this soon and the article only made me realize it all the more.
If it happens, it happens. If not, we'll figure it out then. Does this lack of fierce desire mean that I don't really want children? Does it show that if I did conceive I wouldn't deserve it or that I wouldn't be a good mom? Is there something wrong with me because I wouldn't pay thousands of dollars to get infertility treatments - both because I can't afford it and because I don't have a burning desperation to be a mother? (I mean, I want a child and I want to be a mother, but I don't feel desperate about it or that my entire identity rests upon it, you know?) |
