Saturday, March 25, 2006
Floss Your Teeth, Damnit!
I just had a girl date with my dental hygienist. We met last Tuesday when her hands were inside my mouth and her metal tools were clinking merrily away. Next thing I know, we're having lunch and shopping together. If only dating were so easy, right single folks?We visited several of Nashville's funky little shops. First was The Cat Shoppe, a place where those grandmas with cat sweatshirts and cat tea cozies and cat picture frames go to get all of their supplies. But aside from the kitsch aspect, there were some cool cat toys, healthy cat food, and funky little figurines that I liked. The best part? The real live cats that wonder around the shop hoping you'll adopt them. I got me some feline love and picked up a few things for Cambridge and Neville - including a rubber (!?) grooming brush that, oh my gosh, totally removes loose hair (I'm talking gobs, people) and causes the cats to flat out break their purr motors.
Next we went to this crazy little shop that sold all sorts of weirdness. I don't even know how to describe it, but they had stuff like Mother Mary Full of Grapes cocktail napkins, rubber chickens that when you squeeze them have gross fluid-filled eggs come out of their butts, cat ass magnets, Jesus Super Hero action figures, hairball magnets, High Maintenance chapstick, WTF Bush bumperstickers, Grow Your Own Mullet chewing gum, etc. It was crazy and I was oddly in love with it all.
It was fun, but if I'm going to be her friend I really need to get this flossing thing down or she'll kill me! Wrap it around the middle fingers, use pointers to form a bridge, insert...(floss slips from the pointer fingers, spit forms and runs down my chin)...agghh! I HATE flossing. There's no denying it. I hope she can forgive me. |
