Saturday, October 8, 2005
Confessions
I've been keeping a secret from you, Internet. I change my mind, a lot. It would be easy to just blame it on supposed gender traits and say that it's a woman thing, but I won't do that because: 1) that's lame and I don't buy it and 2) it's a cop out.I gave Porter back to his foster family. Now, before you go postal* on me, you should know that he is NOT at a shelter. He's with the foster family that found him in June. They live on a big farm with lots of space and other dogs for him to play with until his foster mom finds him a good home. It was a difficult decision for me because I was the one who pushed for it and then I back-peddled once I found out how different life with dogs is than it is with cats. I felt incredibly guilty and I cried about it, but I felt that it was best (even if I loose all of my readers).
Here's my defense, take it or leave it: We have a small house and it quickly became smaller with a medium/large dog in it; we have a small yard that unfortunately is mostly concrete in the back and is not currently fenced - so we had to take him out on a leash whenever he got bored of being inside (which was often) and he deserves a bigger, grassier yard to play in at will; I believe that animals can sense our feelings and I would never want him to feel that I was annoyed by him or that I didn't want him (granted, my feelings probably would have changed if I gave it a few more weeks and I bonded with him but I wasn't positive that would happen); Cambie and he did very well together, but I missed seeing her because she began spending most of her time in the bedroom where there was a baby gate put up so that Porter couldn't go in and jump on the bed; I also missed playing tag with her which she ceased doing because there was a dog on her rug (her favorite "come and play with me" place). That's most of it, other than finding out that I'm more of a cat person than a dog person. At least for now. I'm not saying we'll never get a dog, but it needs to be when we own (not rent) a home that has a bigger, fenced yard. I think I was trying to fill a baby-shaped hole with a dog and we all know that a round peg won't fit into a square hole, if you know what I mean.
So please don't hate me and try to understand, dear Internet. And if any of you dog-loving readers happen to live in Nashville, please adopt Porter/Buddy. He's a good dog and deserves a great home! (Go to the petfinder link I posted before.)
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