Thursday, May 19, 2005
Can You Make Drugs Out of Fabric Softener?
No, seriously, can you? That's the only explanation I can come up with that would justify the asshole who has repeatedly stolen our fabric softener from our storage unit in the basement of our apartment building. I get SO frickin' angry when people steal from me - even if it is as petty as fabric softener. Over the past 6 or 7 months, some mfer has reached through the wooden slats of our storage unit down there and pulled out entire boxes of our fabric softener. I know about it because the next time I go down to do laundry, the box is completely gone and my clothes have to be stiff until I get to the store to buy more. What the hell? You can afford to pay rent and to pay $1 per load of laundry, but you can't go to the fing store and pay $4 for fabric softener!? I finally got so sick of it that I posted a sign on our unit that said that the repeated thefts had been reported and to stop it, already! Then, I called the landlord and reported it, then I blocked up the wall that joined another closet where the slats were wide enough to reach through and grab stuff. I also put the softener in a big Marshall Field's bag to prevent walk-by reach-throughs. It was fine for about a month. Then, this morning, I went down there to do laundry (because, you know, I have family coming in town today for my graduation and I have to clean my house!) and I noticed that the basement is a mess. Our nice landlords just sold the place and it's under new ownership now. Apparently they don't care about the status of the basement because there's some random couch thrown down there with dirty window blinds thrown on it, plus the washer and dryers are crusted with detergent and dirt, plus I noticed a huge pvc pipe and a mop lying on the floor. What the hell, I thought, as I put my stuff down and walked to my storage unit to get the detergent. Mother f*er!!!! The entire Marshall Field's bag and it's hidden fabric softener box inside were GONE. Our huge box of Tide was wide open with the plastic end of a mop broken off inside. The scoop was gone and half of the contents of the Tide box were all over my stored stuff and all over the basement floor. WHAT THE HELL!?! WHY on God's green earth is someone SO desperate to stand outside of the storage unit with a frickin' mop handle getting my laundry stuff!? I absolutely do not understand it and I'm absolutely sick of it. Tide is expensive, asshole! And how did you get any out for yourself!? You got it all over the floor - did you then proceed to rub your dirty clothes in it and then throw them in the washer!? Did you pay for the washer and dryer or do you know how to hotwire them!?GET ME OUTTA THIS APARTMENT BEFORE I KILL SOMEBODY!!!
Can you imagine how I'd react if my home were ever robbed or if my car got stolen? I'd had a heart attack and then be put in jail for murdering everyone in sight.
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